Thursday, July 22, 2010

Today, I Am a Bronzed Goddess! All Hail...

I apologize if you were expecting this...

I wish.  Nope...not today.

Instead, unfortunately, the doorbell rang as I was getting dressed and applying makeup this morning.  Tucker darted at the door in one fell swoop, barking his enormous head off.  I, of course was startled, screamed like a little girl, and shot into the air.   And then...

...before I knew it, the loose powder bronzer that was nestled in my palm flew out of my hand in what seemed like the slowest of motion, bounced off the sink and ricocheted off the wall, spewing brown sparkly dust over anything and everything in its wake, including my entire arm, my hair dryer, my phone, and my shirt.  Basically everywhere except for the "porcelain god," who apparently, wanted this goddess to have the bronze all to herself.




"Ohhhhhh fuuuuuuudge!!!!!!!" I exclaimed in what seemed like slow motion as well.  I stood there, staring in the mirror at the mess.  My entire bathroom, cream-colored tile and all, went up in a huge puff of radiant ridiculousness.  Before I could even catch my breath, I realized that I still needed to see who rang the bell.  

So, I grabbed a tank top out of the dryer so I could quickly change the bedazzled one, and darted toward the front door.  It was the Qwest internet guy, who needed to be let into our yard.  I led him to the gate, pointed to the side of our house where the internety stuff was, and headed back inside.  

I glanced in the mirror once again (BAD IDEA!) and noticed that my freshly trimmed bangs were sticking straight up in the air, There's Something About Mary-style.  My hair was wet, and I didn't have a chance to take a blow dryer to it (unless I wanted sparkly dusty hair too, which, needless to say, I decided against).  

"Not too big of a deal," I thought.  Until I noticed the super long deodorant streaks that made an unexpected appearance all over shirt #2.  I had rushed to put said shirt on so quickly, that apparently I didn't pay attention to my technique.  And if you're a female, you are well aware of the technique.  Even if your product of choice claims it, "Goes on clear!"  Do. not. stray. from the technique.

So, of course, I changed again.

I then decided that it would benefit me greatly to wait until after I ate a sandwich and took a few deep breaths before tackling the bathroom clean up endeavor.  And man, I must have been REALLY thirsty after the ordeal, because I completely missed my mouth.  And spilled my iced tea.  All down shirt #3.

What now?  I thought.  

Well, for starters, I will laugh.  Giggle, chuckle, whatever it takes.  I'll just take it for what it's worth.  

And then later, I'll blog about it, so others can share in my laughter, and also the realization that sometimes, the price of trying to look pretty is sooooooo not worth it.

Unless you look like the girl in the Estee Lauder ad.  Then, I'm sure, the price is TOTALLY worth it!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Good Man is Hard to Find...

Calling all Denver-area GUYS!  (and GIRLS too, of course, to help spread the word...)

I recently became a mentor for a wonderful high school girl through an organization called   
Byrne Urban Scholars.  I wrote about it a while back...check it here.

Well, there are still some high school males in need of wonderful male mentors.   Speaking from experience, it's not an enormous time commitment -- The organization asks mentors to make weekly phone contact with mentess and twice-monthly get-togethers, which are often facilitated by the Byrne Urban Scholars staff  (of course, hang out more if you'd like!).

Below is a message from the organization.  It would be very much appreciated if you could help me to spread the word about the demand for male mentors.  Perhaps e-mail this post to friends?  Post it on your Facebook wall?  Mention it to coworkers?  I'd be so grateful...

Thank you, in advance, if you are able to help this amazing organization to spread the word!
July 20, 2010 
  Hello Byrne Urban Scholars community! We appreciate your help in spreading the word about our need for male mentors. We have had a good response from the email sent last week, but we still have some male students we are looking to match with a mentor. Do you know the right match for one of our students? Maybe it's your neighbor, co-worker, spouse, fellow church member, teammate, brother, father-in-law...

Here are details about a couple of our students waiting for a match. Please pass on this email and contact me at or 303-355-1700 with contact information for any potential male mentor so that I can follow up with that person. 

La Academia (9th Avenue and Galapago St.) - This student will be in 10th grade. He lives near 38th and High with his mom, dad and older brother. He enjoys baseball, football, basketball, playing outdoors, bowling, and museums. He hopes his mentor will be willing to help with homework and help him organize school work. He wants to be an architect or engineer.
KIPP Sunshine Peak Academy (Alameda and Tejon) - This student will be in 7th grade. He lives near Sheridan and Exposition with his mom and dad. He is the oldest of 3 boys, with another sibling on the way. He is reserved and shy around adults, and he prefers a mentor that it very warm and engaging. This student does well in school, but lacks confidence. He enjoys sports (especially basketball and baseball), games, computers, movies. He wants a mentor to help with homework and help with problems at school.
This just gives a snapshot of a couple of the students we are looking to match. If you would like to know more information, we are happy to provide more in a one-on-one conversation. We also have other students not described here who need a mentor.

Mentors commit to one year of mentoring, although the majority of our mentors stay with the same student throughout the student's time in high school. Mentors and students maintain weekly phone contact and see each other at least two times per month, based on their schedules and interests. Each mentor and mentee match is assigned a case manager for additional support. Susan will provide more details about mentoring with Byrne Urban Scholars upon contact with potential mentors.
Join us at Guys' Night Out on Wednesday, July 28th, 5:30 to 8 pm at Tavern Uptown (538 East 17th Avenue - 17th Avenue and Pearl St.) to learn more about mentoring with Byrne Urban Scholars and more about the students who still need a mentor. Click on the link below for more information and to RSVP.

Guys' Night Out Evite
We appreciate your help in getting all of our students matched. With your support, we will graduate one student at a time!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A Most Beautiful Disaster

Well,  Since I've been tirelessly working away on school work so I can finally be finished and apply for my teaching license, my blog has taken somewhat of a back seat for now. 

In the meantime, I thought I'd share this fabulous blog with you.  Disaster on Heels keeps me smiling daily with her fabulous wit! Give her a try. Guaranteed, you'll ROTFL. Or, whatever the heck that means...


Here's how she describes herself...

About this Disaster

My move to Chicago was a gamble. Turns out, I bet on the wrong horse.  I moved in with my boyfriend and exactly 5 months later, on July 15 2009,  I moved out.

I packed an overstuffed yellow suitcase in a fit of projectile tears.  I made sure to get all the essentials.  I wheeled them down the street to my friend’s refuge, teetering in 5” red heels.

I opened the bag to see what I had to wear to work the following day.  Inside I found:
  • 4 pairs of high heels
  • 3 bangle bracelets
  • 12 pairs of earrings
  • 5 drawer liners
  • 2 cosmetic bags
  • 7 t-shirts
  • 1 bra
  • 15 pairs of underwear
  • 2 packs of frozen spinach
  • 1 bag of frozen shrimp
  • 1 chilled bottle of Grey Goose Vodka
  • A striking absence of pants
For the next week at work I told people I was exploring my artistic side, all whilst hyperventilating in a cubicle.

This is my story.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Declaration of The Profit...Midnight Tonight!

If you've read this post, you know that my friend Jason who co-wrote a script for a television pilot called False Profit
Well, voting for the contest ends at midnight tonight.  The winner of the three finalists will be announced, and $5,000 will be awarded.  It looks like False Profit is currently in second place.  Let's do all we can to bump it to first!

If you have a chance to read his script, or just plain feel like doing me a favor, please log in and VOTE.  If you already have done so, THANK YOU.  Please don't vote again.  They're only allowing one per person.

To get to the actual script, click here.  Then click on False Profit on the right, and then "download it."

Jason and Michael, you're already winners in my book.
Good luck, False Profit!  


Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Top Ten Eds, Eddies and Edwards of All Time

I need a laugh.  And I know my family does right now, too.  This one's for you, Eddie  ;-) 

#10 - Ed Grimley

Wikipedia describes him as,"A hyperactive, neurotic nerd with a large frontal cowlick who is obsessed with banal pop culture, especially Wheel of Fortune and its host, Pat Sajak. He also loves to play the triangle, which for him consists of playing a recorded musical piece, striking the triangle once, and then wildly dancing to the recording."   How awesome is Ed Grimley?

#9 - Edward Scissorhands

Surely, self-explanatory.  His name is Edward, and he has scissors for hands.  Genius.

#8 - Ed McMahon

He never did show up at my door with a huge check from Publisher's Clearinghouse, but he's still pretty awesome in my book.

#7 - Eddie Van Halen

Oh yes... 
"I get up, and nothing gets me down.
I like to jump. and then go round and round
And I know, just how it feels.
You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real..."

#6 - Eddie Vedder

The words to Yellow Ledbetter don't need to make sense...his hotness makes up for his mumbles!

#5 - Eddie Cibrian

Sans Leann Rimes, please.  WOW!  He's gorgeous.

#4 - 80's Eddie Murphy

Notice how I said "80's" Eddie Murphy.  I can do without 2000's Eddie Murphy. 

#3 - Edward Cullen

Well DUH!

#2 - Mr. Ed

Does he really need an explanation?  Coolest.  Horse.  Ever.

#1 - My Cousin Ed
LOVE YOU, ED!  Feel better soon...


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Dear Eddie...

It's me, your cousin Chrissy.  I'd ask you how you're doing, but that would just be a silly question.  I can picture you now saying, "DUH, Chrissy."  Since you were always the first to tell the story to anyone who would listen about how I got ketchup on the back of my jacket while I was wearing it, I guess I'd just expect a smart ass (yet funny!) remark from you.  It's just how you roll.

Anyway, I've been thinking lately about how you and I are kind of alike.  I never really made the connection when we were kids, but I have noticed it more and more over the years.  Maybe it's our similar attention spans (or lack thereof), or our less-than-traditional route to figuring ourselves out.  And our entire family knows about our inability to communicate in a timely manner!  Boy, they just don't understand us, Ed...

Well, I could use this chance to tell you how proud I am of you for your service in the army.  Or to tell you that I'm praying for you and Karen, and hoping for a speedy recovery.  Even to talk about how it stinks that sometimes it takes a tragedy to bring a family closer.  But, I won't.  Not yet.  I tied a couple of yellow ribbons around our tree in Denver for you and Karen, and I'm letting those ribbons speak for themselves.

Instead, I want to share some family photos so we can all remember what it's like when we can all be together.  It's rare nowadays, since we've gotten older, started families, and have gone our separate ways.  It doesn't mean that we can't have a good laugh right now at some of these pics, because although we may have annoyed each other at times, we sure did have some fun!

I thought I'd begin with our Colorado trip.  I'm not sure if this was taken before or after Caryn fell out of the raft.  Ever since I pulled this photo out of a box, I've been singing, "FAR AWAY!!!!! (far away)  FAR AWAY!!!!  (far away)  Oh, the ranch with the horsies, is far, far away.  FAR AWAY!!!"  Thanks, Uncle Jerry.  You managed to get a song stuck in our heads for almost 20 years.

I love this one.  Here you are, standing with your hands on your belt, just like grandpa.  You were always good for a laugh...

And let's not forget dancing.  We definitely danced a lot.  Here's me and you, doing something weird.  Who knows...  Caryn looks like she's having a BALL!

 "You mean we get to dance with GRANDMA?  Get out of town!" 

"No, Chris!  Like this!  Turn your hand over this way...dummy!"

Check you out -- more dancing with your dad and Mikey in Montana.  "Ohhhhh I don't want her you can have her she's too fat for me!"

And who can forget our Super Bowl Shuffle performance?  Caryn, nice job keeping Mike in line...

"We are the Bears, shufflin' crew...shufflin' on down, doing it for you!  We're so bad, you know we're good, blowing your mind like you knew we would!"  Ha ha...turn, Mike!  Turn!  Is that WWF on the television?

Of course, there's the standard cousins photo in front of the Christmas tree.  You and Mike are too cute here.  You too, Jennifer.  Jay, did Eddie punch you just before this shot?  You look ticked!

We're older here, but I probably did punch Mike.  And he probably deserved it  :-)

Sure, you can be a little cranky sometimes.  Just put Jesus in the manger, will ya, Ed?

But you always make up for it.  That's better!

See...  Cranky...

Better!  And there's Caryn, the Bozo Buckets coach.  She should know...she played the REAL Bozo Buckets on television!  Yep, I'm still jealous...

And, well, perhaps when you're feeling better you might kill me for posting this pic, but this is payback for all of the "ketchup/jacket" stories.  Nice turtleneck, Ed!

Finally, in all seriousness, here's our latest picture of all of us this past Christmas.  I even added Aunt Barb, Shawn and Barb, he he.  We all miss you.  We're all proud of you.  And we all can't wait until your next, "Well...DUH!"

With all my heart,
Your cousin Chrissy

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