Moral Development Cycle...An Explanation!

Oops...I failed to connect some information from my last post...

I mentioned that Logan helped me to think of the development of morality in a cyclical way. 

I then moved on to talk about modeling as a first step.

I forgot to "close the loop," in the cycle, however.
Picture this:

I view modeling (setting a good example), done by a teacher, parent, faith leader, mentor, etc., as the beginning of the cycle.  Morals are passed along, and eventually, the process begins again.   Just like Logan passed along his moral values (modeled by the boundaries set by his parents, rules at school, etc.) to me through his D'var Torah talk, and now I'm continuing the cycle through my reflections via this blog.  Morality and the idea of conscience will continue to develop, as I see it anyway, as we share our reflections. 

My ultimate hope, and a way to continue the cycle, is that Logan will continue to learn and grow through this process, perhaps by reflecting on how I perceived his Torah interpretation, or through what people share in the comments section of this post. 

Instead of a linear, cut and dry process of development, a cycle allows for reflection and interpretation. 

Hmmm...still wonder why naturally knowing the difference between right and wrong isn't so simple?

-DTL

"Right" (or Wrong?) of Passage -- A Bar Mitzvah D'var Torah Reflection

Dear Logan,

The weekend of your Bar Mitzvah in Chicago was such a whirlwind!  Mark and I were thrilled to travel from Denver to be a part of such a meaningful event in your life.  It has been a few weeks now since the overwhelming celebration, and I'm sure you have already resorted back to life as usual (for the most part, anyway).

As you continue on your journey with one huge rite of passage under your belt, you will have a greater awareness of how the entire experience had an effect on you, and how it will continue to transform you as a person in the future.  What you may not know, is how your Bar Mitzvah experience touched the lives of others; your family, friends and beyond.  I can't personally speak for anyone else, but I'd like to share how your D'var Torah talk inspired me to reflect on my own life and what it means to be a good person (and I apologize in advance if this gets a little long!  Bear with me, ok?)

I want to thank you  for allowing me to share your D'var Torah talk in such a public format.  As I will mention later in this post, you are truly wise beyond your years.  I have told you and your brother Eli this before; although we are not related by blood, Mark and I love you both as if you were our nephews.  Needless to say, we are proud of you and all of the hard work and dedication that you contributed to the process of becoming a Bar Mitzvah.

I am blessed to know you, Logan.  Strangers who read this post will be blessed to learn from you.  I hope your "little voice" reminds you often of how blessed you truly are!

All my love,

Chrissy 

FIRST STEPS

Intrinsic Insight Into the Cycle of Morality

A few weeks ago, I attended my very first Bar Mitzvah.  Given my Catholic upbringing, I had no idea what to expect.  I was, however, eager for the experience because lately, I have been on a mission to make some decisions in regard to my own faith.  This will give you a little background... 

I was honored to be invited to support Logan, the Bar Mitzvah, as he embarked on such a sacred milestone.  It was his choice to honor this tradition along his spiritual journey, which required countless hours of studying, reflection and commitment. 

For those unfamiliar with some aspects of Judaism, please click here for a quick, bare bones background on Torah Study, which is a large portion of a Bar Mitzvah's responsibility.  (Keep in mind the source -- Wikipedia.  It is certainly convenient, but not always accurate...wink, wink!) 

In particular, the Bar Mitzvah shares a talk called the D'var Torah, related to the weekly Torah portion of the service (Click here for specific information on D'var Torah).

It was during Logan's D'var Torah talk at his Bar Mitzvah service that I realized how much he had grown up in the short time since I had seen him last.  I was stunned by his insight and maturity.  Flabbergasted by the connections he made between his Torah portion and his own life and to the world.  Astonished at how wisely he conveyed what he had learned from his studies so succinctly in his writing.  And pleased with how confidently he shared his written speech to a synagogue filled with his family and friends.

I did expect to witness a symbolic spiritual transformation in Logan, even though I didn't know exactly how it would manifest itself.  A mysterious and powerful calling to reflect on my own faith and morals, however, I did not expect.

The "old" Logan...dancing with me on my wedding day, July 2008

Photo credit: Andy Andrews

Logan provided countless tidbits for reflection in his D'var Torah talk.  So many, in fact, that I had to ask him to send me a copy of his talk so I could read it to refresh my memory.  I have included a portion of his talk below, with highlighted snippets to show exactly what spoke to me then, and continues to challenge me now to seek out meaning in my life and guide my spiritual path.
***The following text is original work belonging exclusively to Logan Faber.  Please respect his thoughts by refraining from duplication or use without obtaining specific permission.  Thank you.***

Logan's D'var Torah Talk

"When I was little, I used to love watching Loony Toons on Sunday mornings. In this show, the bad guys always fall short of getting the good guys, because they did very awful things, and the good guys always ended up with the prize because they were innocent and did the right thing.

My Torah portion, Bechukotai, explains this very same process. It explains that if we follow God’s laws and commandments excellent things will happen to us. If we don’t, horrific things will happen to us. But is it really that simple?

I think we can all agree that real life isn’t always like it is in a cartoon or in the Torah. Terrible things do happen to good people. And nice things do happen to not so nice people.

So, is Bechukotai meaningless? I don’t think so. I think there is still a message we can gain from this portion. Let’s start with an example. Imagine being a young child standing on the edge of a very deep lake. Our parents call over to tell us to stop and be careful, because we might fall in. Our parents aren’t trying to control us like puppets—rather, they are setting some reasonable boundaries for us. They want us to be safe.

I think that God is setting boundaries for us too so we can be safe. Let’s remember, at the time of this portion, the Israelite people were only a few years out of slavery. They had hundreds of years where they couldn’t really think for themselves—their slave owners decided everything for them. But God set up these rules not only so they would be safe, but also so they can feel satisfaction. Behavior that can lead to satisfaction can also be helped by setting up rewards and punishments. 

For example, do you ever get the feeling where you just want to do the right thing? Not because there’s a reward, or a punishment, or someone yelling at you to do so? I think that by offering rewards and punishments, God is giving us some incentive get this feeling more often.

When I was little, I wanted what I wanted right away . Whenever I did something wrong, my mom would say, “what did your little voice say” and I would say, “it didn’t say anything”. But now I realize that of course it did say something. I knew when I was doing something wrong because my parents set boundaries and rules for me.  The little voice was my conscience, telling me when I was violating those rules.

I think that Bechukotai is not saying simply that if we follow rules good things happen, and if not, unpleasant things happen. That would leave a ton of questions, like what could a sick child have possibly done to deserve his or her illness? Or what did a family to do to be punished by being born into poverty with less opportunity than most of us? 


Instead, perhaps Bechukotai is God’s first step in helping us develop our own little voice—our own conscience. There are good things and bad things.  Like a child, at first we choose the good things because we fear punishment. But eventually, we should choose good simply because it is the right thing to do. That doesn’t mean we are guaranteed a life free of problems…just that we are on the path toward making good decisions.

In my opinion, God intends for us to make choices between good and bad—in other words—gives us free will. We have choice when multiple paths lie in front of us.  We have to learn from the choices we make. Sometimes they are the right ones for us. Like going with your gut on that test question, and then getting it right. Other times, we make the wrong choice. Like when we take something without asking and it ends up to be a present for a cousin. We can only learn from our mistakes and try to make better choices in the future.

I believe that another reason God gives us free will is because God wants us to develop a sense of social justice and act on it. I think this is the case because God wants us to prosper by ourselves, and not control us like puppets all the time. Even God needs a coffee break sometimes. In Hebrew, we refer to these acts as mitzvot. Literally “commandments”—so God is commanding us to work toward social justice.

Since the age of 5, I have been working with a great organization called Circ-Esteem. The mission of Circesteem is to unite youth from diverse, racial, cultural, and economic backgrounds and help them build self-esteem and mutual respect through the practice of circus arts. In the process of working with the other kids, I have found that even though we come from diverse backgrounds we aren’t much different at all.  I have made many friends and learned many skills like juggling, balancing on a wire, and being very silly in clowning. I have also learned to become a great team mate with all the group acts and trips we go on. Currently, I have been working with a program called “Homework and Circus Work” in the Circ-Esteem curriculum, helping to tutor kids who need help with their studies. This is my way of contributing toward social justice by giving everyone an equal opportunity to learn. This is also for the common good—looking beyond myself and helping my community. 


I think God is trying to tell us that rules, boundaries, punishments and rewards are what set us on this path of moral development. So what meaning can we take from this portion, with its promise that God blesses those who follow the mitzvot and curses those who turn away from Torah? Maybe it's as simple as this: The mitzvot teach us to recognize and appreciate life's blessings, helping us mature and develop an attitude of sensitivity and gratitude."

Conscious Conscience Connections

What Logan said in his talk helped me to think about the development of morality in a cyclical way.  Throughout the course of my recent graduate education courses and student teaching experience, I struggled with the challenge of developing intrinsic motivation in students.  I will continue to ask myself, "How can I motivate students to do the right thing... for the simple fact that it is just the 'right thing to do?'"  "How do I explain to students that the process of rule-following holds a deeper meaning than simply staying out of trouble?"   "How can I get these kids to realize that the development of moral character is enhanced by an understanding of why a specific choice is the right one?"  

Well, the answer (a common buzz word in education these days)  is modeling.  Leading by example.  Modeling, modeling, and more modeling.  In my opinion, modeling is the "first step"  -- it begins the cycle of morality off on the "right" foot (oh yes...pun intended!).  This first step, modeling, guides us and helps us to develop a conscience (the little voice inside our heads, as Logan puts it).  As an aspiring teacher, sometimes it is difficult for me to explain to students that just because they follow my lead and make good choices, it doesn't mean that their daily experiences will be rewarding and that things will always be "fair."  It wasn't until last year in my Teaching for Social Justice course that I truly understood the difference between equal and equitable.  I realized that equal is not always equitable.  How could I transform this concept into something an elementary student could not only understand, but apply to their own life?

Well, as Logan very eloquently remarks, "That doesn't mean we are guaranteed a life free of problems...just that we are on the path toward making good decisions."  I realize that I am a little biased when it comes to Logan because I know and love him, but to me, that statement is remarkably profound.  People, young and old, continue to grapple with the reality of bad things happening to good people.  It has torn people from their faith, and forced others to question their entire moral platform.  The fact that this thirteen-year-old boy, my friend Logan, gleaned this realization so early in his life makes me beam with pride and fill with hope for future generations.  

Ok, maybe that's a little extreme.  I do tend to go overboard at times, but the simple fact remains that life is not always fair.  Things will not always be equal.  The right thing to do will not always feel the best (which is exactly what Logan's mother, my dear friend Pamela, reminded Logan of during her speech on Logan's Bar Mitzvah day...MODELING at it's finest!!).  The path toward making good decisions might be riddled with unanswered questions, but the longer we continue down that path, the more opportunities we'll have to feel that unexplainable satisfaction that Logan refers to.  For lack of a better term, let's call it joy, shall we?

 

 The "new" Logan...post Bar Mitzvah

Photo credit: Chrissy Richter

Logan, thank you for helping me to realize that figuring out all of the answers is not the point.  The joy of the journey is really what counts.

Well, there you have it.  Logan's D'var Torah, for ya.  An insightful speech to teach all within reach and beyond.  I hope it reached you in one form or another.

EnJOY your journey,
-DTL

A Stumble of Faith

Tonight I took a huge leap of faith.

I have been majorly putting off some work lately, out of sheer fear.  I finally bit the bullet and miraculously moved forward a bit.  I didn't take a graceful leap, or a execute a flawless swan dive.  I kinda slipped, stumbled, tumbled, and then...PLOP.

I belly flopped, more like it, into frigid waters.  I'm hoping it will pay off in the end though, and I end up making it to the warm, sunny shore. You know, before I drown.

Well, I desperately need a tan anyway, so it's time to bask in the glow of success.  My floaties have come off, and now it's sink or swim time.

-DTL

Picture This: A Big Corporate Office Building

Lately I've been thinking a lot about brains.

Which is ironic, you see, because I have to use my brain to think about said brains. About how we use them, and how different each one is, and how different each one works.  Like Temple Grandin's.

I'm currently reading her book, titled Animals in Translation.  The simple description on the book cover, "Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior," quickly caught my eye as I was searching through discounted paperbacks at the book store a few weeks ago.

I had learned about Temple in a graduate course that I took last semester called Success for All Children and Adolescents. Another book of Temple's, Thinking in Pictures, was one of the choices on a list for a book circle assignment.  (I chose her book as my first choice, but the professor placed me in a different group.  Yep, I'm still bitter!)  I have since read Thinking in Pictures on my own and have seen the recent HBO movie, Temple Grandin, starring Claire Danes (such a FABULOUS performance!  So spot on.  Bravo, Claire).  I could go on, but I think you "get the picture" that Temple is a pretty important person nowadays, and lately I've taken an active role in learning all that I can from her.

And if you ever have some free time and you're interested, watch her here (it's kind of long, but worth it!):



Specifically, I've become fascinated with learning more about the autism spectrum, because if you aren't yet aware, Temple has a high-functioning form of autism.  I'm interested in the way that Temple's brain works because she is a highly visual thinker.  The more I learn about the way she thinks, the more connections I start to make about how my own brain works and the way that I think.

I've learned that just like other brain disorders, the characteristics and symptoms of autism vary for each individual.  Take ADHD, for instance.  My traits are different than those of some other people's who are also blessed with ADHD (See what I did there?  To an extent, yes, I do believe I'm blessed with it.  Umm...a considerably small extent, but blessed, nonetheless.).  What intrigues me about both autism and ADHD are the similarities between some of the possible traits.  For example, these pretty much describe me in a nutshell:  the ability to hyperfocus, sensory sensitivity, can be easily overstimulated, tendency toward both learning disabilities and giftedness (I know, sounds like I'm tooting my own horn, which is hard to admit.  I'm obviously not gifted in math, but I think that in certain creative areas, I can hold my own, ok?) and a vulnerability to depression. 

What sparks my curiosity the most about Temple is how much of a visual thinker she is.  I always knew that my learning style was more on the visual side, but I didn't really realize the extent until I started grad school.  Now, I certainly don't think in pictures as often or as vivid as Temple, but I can definitely relate to the way she describes some of her thought processes.  This one is my absolute favorite (from Animals in Translation, pp. 89-90):

"Of course, no one knows why an autistic grown-up has trouble making connections, since our frontal lobes are normal-sized.  All we know right now is that researchers find "decreased connectivity among cortical regions and between the cortex and subcortex.  

The way I visualize it is that a normal brain is like a big corporate office building with telephones, faxes, e-mail, messengers, people walking around and talking -- a big corporation has zillions of ways for messages to get from one place to another.  The autistic brain is like the same big corporate office building where the only way for anyone to talk to anyone else is by fax.  There's no telephone, no e-mail, no messengers, and no people walking around talking to each other.  Just faxes.  So a lot less stuff is getting through as a consequence, and everything starts to break down.  Some messages get through okay; other messages get distorted when the fax misprints or the paper jams; other messages don't get through at all.  


The point is that even though autistic people have a normal-sized neocortex including normal-sized frontal lobes, our brains function as if our frontal lobes were much smaller or not fully developed."

I searched Google Images for a brain / office building drawing so I could insert it in this post, but couldn't find one.  I found this instead, which I think is super cool, that depicts right and left brain function.  I'd imagine Temple's office building might have been drawn in a similar fashion:

Anyway, what a fantastic way to describe it!  Wow!  I totally get what she's saying, and am thankful for the visual because now I have a point of reference when I'm trying to explain what happens to me sometimes when I'm having a difficult "brain day" as I like to call them (this should explain it).

Well, the frontal lobe that Temple refers to is a subdivision of the neocortex.  And yes, I definitely had to look that up, because I slept through, or at least daydreamed through, most of my biology classes in high school and college (focus issues, remember?).  The neocortex is responsible for specific cognitive processes like working memory, speech, language, sensory perception, generation of motor commands, spacial reasoning, conscious thought, etc.  Basically the only reason why I'm referring to this part of the brain (because as I first stated, I've been thinking about brains a lot lately!) is because I playfully like to call it the "neato-cortex" (it does so many cool things, does it not?). 

Now I will certainly have to do some more research to be sure of my facts, and so I can sound like I know what the heck I'm talking about, of course.  BUT... I suspect that there may be some form of connection issue in my own personal neato-cortex.  Hmmm...it just might be to blame for the stupid anomia I experience from time to time...  I'm on to you, neato-cortex!  Not so neato anymore, huh?!

Finally, I referred to Temple as my first "official unofficial" spiritual guide in my last post.  It's understandable to be confused about this, because with Temple's form of autism, social interactions and abstract thinking are both very difficult.  However, she has inspired me to seek out how I function best, even if it is completely scientific, so I can be the best form of myself as possible.  And there's definitely something spiritual about that for me, and that's what matters.

I was, however, searching for just a little bit more out of my "pretend" spiritual relationship with Temple -- more than just noticing a connection because we are both visual thinkers, and we both love animals.  Well, I found it (to my surprise!) in what she says here:

"But my favorite of Einstein's words on religion is 'Science without religion is lame.  Religion without science is blind.' I like this because both science and religion are needed to answer life's great questions.  Even scientists such as Richard Feynman, who rejected religion and poetry as sources of truth, concede grudgingly that there are questions that science cannot answer."

Well, I used to automatically see a picture of a synagogue when I heard the word "temple."  Now, I admirably see Temple Grandin. Doctor of Animal Science. Professor at Colorado State University. Bestselling author. Consultant to the livestock industry in animal behavior. Autism advocate.  A pioneer.  Influential.  Inspiring.  Fabulous!

Little does she know how much I respect her...

Thank you, Temple.  I think ALL of your cortexes are neato.

-DTL

I want to be very clear and state for the record (whatever record that may be), that I, in no way, know what it's like to have autism.  I can't even imagine.  On a much, much, much smaller scale though, Temple has provided me with a tiny glimpse of understanding by explaining one of her mental pictures (the office building) in a way that makes sense to me. Because of her, I can explain to others what it feels like when information often takes its sweet old time to process in my brain.  Thanks for reading!    

Faith Building – A Lesson in Not-So-Concrete Methods

 LOOSING MY RELIGION, FINDING FAITH

Spirituality, values, religious beliefs.  Peace, trust, guidance.   Goodness, god, God, gods.

Science?

I was raised Catholic.  From kindergarten all the way through undergrad, I attended Catholic schools.  After college, somewhere along life’s journey, I strayed from the Catholic Church.  I found myself away longer than I had expected.  Long enough to truly get lost – to the extent where global positioning meant diddely squat.

I found myself searching for guidance.  Maybe a map.  A tour guide, perhaps.  A bus stop would have been nice.  Something.  I finally realized that it must be my job, and mine alone, to figure out a method for finding my way back.  To find a home for my faith.  Either back to the Catholic Church, or to a completely different building altogether.

METHOD FOLLOWING, MY WAY

Procedure, technique, in accordance with a definite plan.  Typically an orderly, logical or systematic way of instruction, inquiry, investigation, experiment, presentation, etc.  Arrangement.  Sequence.  Logical?

It has been quite some time since I’ve been to any form of “church” on a Sunday, let alone a Catholic mass.  Today I took advantage of the opportunity to accompany my friend Jill and her son Cael to their Sunday church service.  It is a Methodist church, and I enjoyed it.  I felt welcome and had a pleasant and positive experience.   However, I wonder:  Does this method of finding the proper place for my faith and beliefs seem logical to me?  Has my systematic Sunday experiment yielded a concrete answer?  Have I found the right building?  Am I back on the radar?

WITH GRANDIN AS MY GUIDE

Synagogue, basilica, cathedral.  Duomo, or possibly, chapel.

Temple?

I have learned that my faith will be with me wherever I go, and I will have many different spiritual guides along my journey.  Oddly enough, this afternoon after church with Jill, Temple Grandin (get it?  Temple?) served as my first “officially unofficial” guide (more on Temple in my next post).  She inspired me to keep the building doors opened just a crack, no matter where I find myself, in case I feel the need to wander once again and test future methods...on my quest for concrete faith.