It's been a while...
I've missed you! I've missed my blogging friends and I've really, really missed writing.
I've just been drifting through my days, taking in all that life has presented lately. I've been going through the motions, getting used to my new class of 4-year-olds, settling into my 2-job work schedule and drinking way, way, way too much caffeine.
I recently found out that I was accepted to Colorado University at Denver for graduate school and will begin work on my Master's in Early Childhood Education in mid-January. I'm excited, nervous, stressed out and eager to begin!
Mark and I also finally have our wedding date -- July 12, 2008 at The Denver Botanic Gardens. It's real now...it's official! We've yet to begin planning, but at least we have our location and date.
And Mark turned 30 on "Marktober" 14th, and I pulled off a surprise party for him at our house. He was truly surprised, and we all watched the Rockies win together in our living room. I think he really enjoyed himself.
Speaking of the Rockies, I had to walk awway from the game tonight against Boston. WOW. What an ass-kicking. I hope the Rox can turn it around! YIKES!
And you won't BEE-lieve... our house has been infested with yellow jackets or wasps for the past week and a half. They got into our walls somehow and built a nest. Every day we kill about 20 - 30 of them in our kitchen, dining room and living room. Frankly, I'm sick of them! Who knew I'd be such a good bee killer... At least they're not aggressive. They're pretty much in slow motion since it's been kind of chilly, but I've literally got the heebie geebies. YUCK!
On a more serious note, I'm in the process of trying to figure out who I am -- who I've become since I moved to Colorado. There's been so much progress and forward movement that I'm loosing sight of who I was and who I now should be. It's putting a strain on my relationship, and frankly, I'm very confused.
Shouldn't an engagement and upcoming wedding equate to a blissful time? Exactly how happy should I try to be when I'm working too much and falling behind in certain areas of my life? How do I accept my new role and move on with my life, without loosing sight of bubbly, creative, carefree Chicago Chrissy?
I'm in the process of searching for these answers, or at least trying to find the courage to come to terms with the new me. Mark and I have decided to make a conscious effort to understand each other better and be more connected, happy partners for each other.
But the road seems really long right now, and hopefully I can find the support that I need to get to know myself better and face some difficult issues that I've been surpressing. I'm scared and worried, but hopeful that I can move past the barriers that have been blocking me and discover a clear, peaceful beginning.
Until then, as always, I'll continue to drift along. I hope all is well with you!
Much love
DTL
3 comments:
Glad to see you are back and checking in.
Although, I have to be honest. I kind of forgot that you'd obviously be rooting for the Rockies this week so, um, well, I might not come back until things are all wrapped up in this little thing we call the World Series.
GO SOX!!!!
Chrissy,
Forgive the unsolicited advice from a complete and total stranger. I mean it as a form of support.
You wrote: Shouldn't an engagement and upcoming wedding equate to a blissful time? Exactly how happy should I try to be when I'm working too much and falling behind in certain areas of my life? How do I accept my new role and move on with my life, without loosing sight of bubbly, creative, carefree Chicago Chrissy?"
Several years ago I went through a huge life change on the heels of an identity crisis. During that time I decided to eliminate the word "should" from my vocabulary. To this day, I don't use it. "I should've known better." "You should have told me." "Shouldn't somebody do something?" I cut the word out of my life because I realized, at times, I was using it as a crutch. Other times, all those "should" tasks and feelings did nothing but inspire unrest, discontent, more confusion, and guilt. ...I suggest you try to let go of the word and its symbolic connection to false or uncertain expectations. Your life is your own. Your experiences are unique. Yes, it'd be great if things were shaping up like the set of a photoshoot in Martha Stewart Weddings. But, it's also okay if life is bumpier now. You can sort this stuff out. After all, you're getting married. You and your fiance love each other and must respect each other deeply.
Second, and this time I'll be brief. You're not moving on from the old Chrissy. You're moving forward with your life as Chrissy. Evolving. If those parts of you are real and valuable, you will find time to nourish them and make them a more active part of your life here. Moving, changing jobs, getting married all in under 2 years... it's a lot to handle. You're doing fine. Give yourself permission to be happy here and now. You will find your stride.
Best wishes to you.
OK - so who said planning any wedding was a blissful experience? Whomever said that was not telling the truth. Planning an event that is life changing is not an easy task - especially when family is not close enough to help out. Or, as I recall, maybe having some distance is a blessing :-) Just remember that we all love you and know that you WILL succeed in your endeavors.
By the way - Who is Chrissy? I'm not sure. I'm still trying to figure out just who Aunt Mary is!!! All I know for sure is we both are really great women who will conquor the universe in the near future.
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