Video Confessions of an Anxiety-Prone, Scattered "Hot Mess"

It's been a rough couple of days for me.

Nothing specific happened to cause said "roughness."  It was just ME. I happened to myself.  I explain these rough patches to my family and friends as "bad brain days."  We're all prone to them.  I get that.  But if you really know me, you're aware of the inner workings of my "bad brain days," and how often they tend to occur.  (If you don't really know me, you can get caught up here.)

Well.  I've felt like the little boy in this clip, Luke, lately:



And yes...as I child, I did this very same thing because I didn't have my glasses on.  I also walked directly into a plate glass wall.  What evs...

As a result of my "bad brain days" as a child, my immediate family lovingly (Uh...I think...) used to call me "Mallory."  As in Mallory from Family Ties.  This clip explains it all:  (excuse the foreign subtitles)



Man...looking back as an adult, I'm a little offended!  Good thing Mallory was pretty  :-)

Well, over these past few days, my house has looked like a tornado hit it.  Or a bomb went off. Or -- you get the point.  My car, my purse(s), my work bag(s), etc. -- all a disaster.  My appearance, too.  My outfits, hair, makeup (or lack of) can pretty much be summed up in one word:

 HAPHAZARD.

The more messy each fragment of my life has gotten, the more anxious I have become.  Which, as my cycle of ADHD, anxiety and depression has conveyed in the past -- it's' a recipe for disaster.   My heart has been racing since Monday.  My sleep patterns have been less than desirable.  My dog, who tends to be destructive as a result of my anxiety, has torn apart our new sheets and mattress, and chewed my favorite sneakers to an unwearable state.  I was super late for my best friend's birthday party, and as a result of racing to get there, I arrived with smashed cupcakes.  The list goes on.

During these "rough patches," however, I try to keep a positive attitude and an open mind.  It's tough sometimes, but we all go through stressful periods, and I know that part of being a responsible human being means working hard to get myself back on track.  I know I'll be able to turn things around -- heck, I'm Denver's Tumbling Leaf.  I created this blog for that very reason.

However, when I stumble upon videos like this one, I can't help but get a little ticked off.  I don't care if he's a "Christian" comic.  He needs to do a little research on what life will be like for his three "ADHD kids" (AHEM...kids WITH ADHD) when they grow up.  Listen dude -- my kindergarten teacher called my parents too.  I'm still impulsive and hyperactive.  During my "bad brain days," I have to battle the guilt that comes with being late all the time...a destructive dog...smashed cupcakes...etc.  It's NOT fun, and to me, it's not funny.




Well.  I'll get off my high horse now.  I know I shouldn't let this get the best of me.  I have a wonderful life, and could have it much, much worse. I just needed to vent today.  So I did it here.

Now that I've blown off some steam, I'll remind myself (and you too!) to just...BREATHE.  It's typically what gets me through these tough spots, and ultimately helps me turn my little leaf.  I need to.  I "needtobreathe."

Enjoy this song...I absolutely adore it.

-DTL