Sink or Swim

Lately, I haven't been doing a good job of skimming the surface. I've been feeling like I'm sinking a bit, actually.

SINK, SANK, SUNK.

I recently passed the one year mark of living in Colorado, and that's been a little hard for me. Perhaps the realization that Denver really is my home now and the pressures of the new identity that my new life presents are silently wearing on me. Among other things...

I'm still going through the emotions of leaving friends and family in Chicago, but now, since I've been here long enough, I'm now loosing friends in Colorado as well. One of my best friends in Denver, J. R., is moving back to Florida in one week. It's hitting me pretty hard. Not to mention my other good friend K. N. from my girls group who had to head back to Houston. And now my most favorite co-worker, M. S., is leaving work next week to have her baby and not return to work (lucky girl!). I know she'll still be around, but with my schedule lately, I know it will be tough to schedule visits with her. I have a tough time with change...can you tell?

There's a few other little things that have been wearing me down and causing me to sink, but I'll work them out and find my way to the surface soon. I always do. I flip my leaf over and hold on for the ride...

ON THE UP AND UP

Mark and I had the chance to see his parents for a day last weekend in Avon, near Vail. We went to Oktoberfest in Vail and I bought a silver necklace with a tiny little leaf pendant. I've been wearing it for motivation, and when my kids at school ask about it, I explain the whole "starting over" process and I think a few of them may even understand! As silly as it sounds, I rub it between my fingers when I need a little help...

Well I finished my grad school application and sent it off! $40 at Fed Ex later... Ugh. The written statement was a challenge, but I feel like I did a fairly good job selling myself. We shall see... At least it's finished!

I want you to know that if you're a blogging friend of mine, I have been reading your blogs. I just haven't had a chance to comment, but I'll try to soon. Lisa, Kelli, Jill, Jenn, Melanie, etc.

I'll be back soon. Stay tuned. Thanks for reading when you get the chance!
Much love,
DTL

Penny For Your Thoughts?

If I ever encounter extra pennies to share, I'll send them your way.

In the meantime, does anyone have any suggestions on how to attract more blog readers? I try to post comments on other people's blogs, and also link to their blog from mine. I also read the little write-up on Blogger about the settings that I need to turn on, and I think I did it all.

Anyway, I'm only averaging about 12 readers per day. Am I just being too impatient, considering I just started blogging in April? Should I be writing about more interesting topics? (he he...what could be more interesting than ME?) :-)

Any tips would be helpful...

And THANKS so much for reading!

DTL

I want it back!

Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain't no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my...

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair

I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

Oh say can you see
My eyes if you can
Then my hair's too short...



P.S.
I'm aware that patience is a virtue, but I want my long hair back NOW. The kicker -- I'm almost ready to stick my finger in a socket because my curls are gone now too. How the heck did that happen? They were natural...where the heck did they GO?

Ugh. (By the way, my friends have always said I have "anorrexia of the hair." Never happy with it, even when there's nothing wrong with it.) Regardless, I need six inches ASAP.

:-)

Skimming the Surface Beats Sinking Any Day

Lately I'm realizing that even if I don't have the time to make something perfect, it's still worth a shot to do the best that I can, even if it's a bit rushed. At this point, doing just a little bit of what I want or need to do is better than not doing it at all.

First example -- working out. Since I had to quit marathon training a few months ago, I haven't really done anything in the way of exercise. Nada. It depresses me knowing that I won't get back to the fitness level that reached in June. But as a result, I'm not toned anymore. I'm "soft." And I don't like it. I think I will set a goal to run about 20 minutes once a week. That doesn't seem so bad. And hey, it's better than nothing, right? Skimming, not sinking.

Example number two -- Blogging. I'm averaging about 5 creative ideas for blogs per day. But it's hard to pick one, dive right in and flesh it out each day because I want the blog to showcase my creative abilities and I want the post to be really good. But I'm learning to get over the notion that every post of mine will be ground-breaking (an over-exaggeration) and I'll just get out what I can. This blog is a perfect example of a not-so-perfect post (have you noticed the lack of well-thought-out points and poor grammar? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about...

Final example -- cooking. Lately I've been working really hard at coming up with creative meals. Like instead of butter on my corn on the cob, I've felt the need to do things like mix the butter with a little lemon juice and seasoned salt for a little somthing extra. But darn it, cooking is time-consuming, and it's not the end of the world if I reach for an old-standby. Tonight, I let it go, and I just plain buttered my corn.

So, here's another attempt at skimming the surface, instead of just sinking (sinking, in this case, would be not writing about these 2 events at all). Granted, I'd love to blast my blog readers (all three of you) right out of the water with poetic descriptions. Instead, I need to get to bed, so I'll make it easy:

1. My friend Pamela in Chicago is going through a tough time. Someday I will dedicate a blog to her so you can get to know how great she is. Anyway, her family is going through a tragic event and I'll be thinking about her. She's very special to me, so even though you don't know her, please keep her in your thoughts!

2. My Happy Friend Jess turned 33 last week! Seriously, she looks 23... Anyway, when I get a chance I'll write a nice blog about the CL girls (my Denver girlfriends!), and how we had such an incredibly fun girls night this past Friday for Jess's birthday! I'll even post pictures. Seriously, so much fun!

So there. Two quick little ditties about events / people in my life that I wanted to flesh out, but just don't have the drive at this late hour. Skimming the surface = more productive in the long run. I hope!

Good night, all. Thanks for being my "floaties." With you around my arms, I'll never sink!

Patience is a Virtue

"Why does Mrs. H. keep saying that?"

"I don't know, but it's kinda weird!"

"Yeah! Patience is a what? WHO CARES!"

Mrs. H., my seventh grade teacher, used to say, "Patience is a virtue" at least once a day. Now, honestly, she was an odd bird, to say the least, and when she stuffed her bra with tissues, she was always lopsided! Always! That surely didn't help her case any.

Well, to this day, I find myself repeating that same phrase inside my head at times when I'm completely frustrated. And I'm finally starting to understand the value of that phrase.

I'd like to think that I'm a farily patient person (I pride myself on it, actually) but lately, my patience has been tested on many accounts and I have to constantly remind myself to not get so worked up about things. I realize that we're living in the age of instant gratification, but I need to take a step back and learn that not everything is going to fall into place the minute that I want it to. Perhaps it's because I've been so tired lately with the extra hours that I'm putting in, and when I'm exhausted, my patience tends to jump right out the window!

Instances lately when I'm feeling extra-impatient:

1. Getting to know people

Normally, I love the "getting-to-know-you" process. It's new, exciting, mysterious, etc. But in this instance, specifically, I'm talking about my co-workers at my part-time job. Now, it's not that I want to be best buds with them, but I do want them to realize that just because I'm learning the ropes and asking questions, I'm not a complete moron. I'm older than most of them, have more experience than a lot of them in other areas, but sometimes, I forget to give away the free gift with the fragrance purchase. Seriously. Shoot me now. It will come with time, I know, but I wish I could fast forward a few months and just be done with it.

2. Starting the new school year

At my school, we're open year-round. We have open enrollment which is a very appealing quality to a busy parent with a tight schedule. So, some of the kids in my class have moved on to kindergarten. Some of the kids are still in my room this week and will move to a different school next week. Some of my kids will move on this Wednesday. And still, some others have been gone since May. Basically, there's not one "last day of school" with closure for all of the kids and teachers. Nope. I've grown attached to these kids (my first class!), and for the past few weeks and the next few weeks, emotional limbo it was and is. I really want to just meet my new kids and have a "first day of school" with my new class. So, needless to say, I've been frustrated and impatient and emotional and not very happy about the state of my classroom. Ugh, what's that virtue again? What do I need to remember?

3. Traffic

Ok, so although I live in Denver, I'm still a Chicago driver. Denver drivers are the worst (too slow! below the speed limit!) and way too overly careful. And I need to accept that the drivers here aren't going to miraculously speed up or actually pull into the intersection before making a left turn (now that would be a total miracle!) But lately, I've been swearing, yelling, (not honking though, thank goodness) and gripping the wheel in angst at the slow-ass drivers who don't speed up to make it through a yellow light to give me a chance to get through an intersection to avoid making me a few more minutes late to work. Is it that much to ask people?

Ahhhhhhh...anyway, a virture. Patience truly is a virtue. And not only is patience a virtue, but time is also very precious. And currently my lack of it is completely compromising my coveted, virtuous patience! Boy, Mrs. H, you were a smart lady.

I only hope that during all of the years that have passed since my seventh grade class, you've been smart enough to have patience with yourself and your tissues until both sides are equal and balanced! Because balance is really what it's all about, right?